This semester has been a difficult one for me. I have found myself in an odd place of fear and it has reflected in my school work. I started out the semester strong but as time went on things began to roll downhill a lot faster than I would have ever imagined. I had a moment when I was failing 3 classes, almost 4, and I feel like I did a pretty good job at bringing my grades up after that. The class that I was almost failing went up 3 letter grades to an A and 2 of the classes that I was failing I was able to rise out of failing by 1 and 2 letter grades. English was the only class I didn’t get my grade up in. This year, so far, as a whole has been a struggle for me. Everything that came my way was a challenge and I was able to beat some of those challenges.
I would give myself the same grade I have in this class because I don’t feel like I, honestly, deserve any better. I spent most of my time trying to figure out my own life and get my anxiety under control so I didn’t try in really any of my classes but even less so in English. Writing essays had always been a rough patch for me and when I realized that basically all of English 12 A was writing essays, I freaked out and shut down. I unnaturally gave up on the class and most other things in my life because I had just reached a point of fear that I had turned into a nearly psychotic teenager who was afraid of living because I felt I had forgotten.
I think that I would have done a thousand times better in the class if it weren’t for the fact of just bad timing for a mental and social breakdown. I had always been a good student in high school and what everyone else wants to believe is senioritis is actually me simply losing control of who I am and what I do.